Quotes

Buffy: (jokingly) Is there something you want to tell me?
Riley: What? (Buffy looks towards the banner and Riley does the same, catching on) Oh, yes - I am a lesbian.

Buffy: We were talking about having a picnic?
Riley: So, was that a conversation I actually had, or one I was just practicing?
Buffy: Practicing?
Riley: Okay, yes - I have been known to do a little prep work before our conversations. It's not easy, you know, talking to you sometimes. It's like an oral exam.
Buffy: Boy.. that's just what every girl longs to hear.
Riley: Well, you're tricky!

Buffy: It's just, different, you know? A picnic. First of all, daylight - kind of a new venue, Buffywise. And the best part - he said he would bring all the food, so all I have to do was to show up and eat. Those are two things I'm really good at.

Willow: The pain is not a friend.
Buffy: But I can't help thinking - isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but.. part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting. (a vampire jumps ou from behind a bush and Buffy stakes him without a second thought) I wonder where I get that from.

Buffy: So, you saw their faces but you can't describe them.
Spike: Well, they were human. Two eyes each, kind of in the middle.

Buffy: Okay, that's it. The invalid amnesiac routine is over. The kitchen is closed until you can tell me something useful about the commandos.
Spike: I'm tryin' to remember. It was very traumatic.

Giles: We can't let you go until we're sure that you're... impotent-
Spike: Hey!
Giles: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we're sure you're, you're...
Buffy: Flaccid?
Spike: You are one step away, missy.
Buffy: (sarcastic) Giles, help! He's going to scold me.

Spike: Comfy? I'm chained in a bathtub drinkin' pig's blood from a novelty mug. Doesn't rank huge in the Zagut's Guide.

Willow: What about a truth spell? I'm not positive it would work on a vampire, but we could try. Make him fess up?
Giles: A truth spell, of course. Why didn't I think of that?
Willow: 'Cause you had your hands full with the undead English Patient?

Giles: Um, Willow may have had a very helpful idea. She seems to be coping better with Oz's departure, don't you think?
Buffy: She still has a way to go, but yeah - I think she's dealing.
Spike: What, are you people blind? She's hangin' on by a thread. Any ninny can see that.

Willow: I feel like I've been split down the center and half of me is lost.

Spike: "Passions" is on! Timmy's down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it, I'll-
Giles: You'll do what? Lick me to death?

Buffy: Cars and Buffy are, like .. un-mixy things.

Riley: It's just because you haven't had a good experience yet. You can have the best time in a car. It's not about getting somewhere. You have to take your time. Forget about everything. Just.. relax. Let it wash over you. The air.. motion.. Just, let it roll.
Buffy: We are talking about driving, right?
Riley: Thought I was.

Willow: Your apples are turning brown, the way they do.

Xander: Geez, you mean Oz just sent for his stuff and didn't even call her? That's pretty harsh.
Anya: I only wish I had my powers back. I'd liquify his entrails for her.

Xander: I believe that's the dance of a brave little toaster.

Willow: Yeah.. I-I know I've been sort of a party-poop lately, so I said to myself, "Self!" I said, "It's time to shake and shimmy it off."

Willow: Drunk.. I mean, that's such a-a strong word. Kind of a guttural Anglo-Saxon word. Drunk.
Xander: Will, not loving the drowning of the sorrows.
Willow: Not drowning - wading. A-a-and.. See? Light. No big.

Buffy: Anyone remember when Buffy had the fun beer-fest and went one-million years B.C.?
Xander: Sadly without the fuzzy bikini.

Willow: Did Buffy tell you about the beer, 'cause...
Giles: Uh, Buffy didn't tell me anything.
Willow: Oh, well... forget the beer part, then.
Giles: Happily.

Willow: Oh, you care. Yeah. Everybody cares. Nobody wants to be inconvenienced. You all want me to take the time and go through the pain, as long as you don't have to hear about it anymore.
Giles: No, that's not fair.
Willow: Isn't it? 'Cause I'm doing the best I can and it doesn't seem to be enough for you guys.
Giles: And I see how you could feel that way, I do-
Willow: No, you don't. You say that you do, but you don't see anything.

Spike: Well, I won't have you doin' mojo on me if you can't read properly. You might turn me into a stink beetle or what all.
Giles: T'would be a generous ending for you, Spike.

Willow: She's got access to powers I can't even invoke. I mean, first - she's a perfectly normal girl. (the rat morphs to a naked Amy) Then poof - she's a rat. (she morphs to back to a rat) I could never do something like that.

Willow: Well, I mean, what's the rush? Spike can't hurt anyone, right? And I figured since I'm kinda grievey, would could, uh..you know, have a girl's night. We could eat sundaes and watch Steel Magnolias and you can tell me how, at least I don't have diabetes.

Buffy: One more word out of you, and I swear...
Spike: Swear, what? You're not gonna do anything to me. You don't got the stones.
Buffy: Oh, I got the stones. I got a whole bunch of... stones.

Spike: I get this spell reversed, they'll be finding your body for weeks.
Buffy: Oh, make a move - please. I'm dying for a good slay.

Buffy: It's just so sudden. I don't know what to say.
Spike: Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth.
Buffy: Oh, Spike! Of course it's yes!

Willow: Yeah, 'cause most relationships are great and trouble-free. I don't think so. I think we're all doomed to badness.

Buffy: There's so much to decide. Ceremony, guests, reception...
Spike: Well, first thing I'd say, we're not having a church wedding.

Spike: Warm breeze tosses the leaves aside, and again - you're registering as Mr and Mrs Big-Pile-of-Dust.

Spike: Oh, pouty! Look at that lip... gonna get it... gonna get it...

Buffy: Giles, did you see my ring?
Giles: Thankfully, not very well.

Buffy: You guys wern't crazy about Angel at first, either.
Spike: You weren't gonna say that name.
Buffy: Sorry. Why don't we talk about where we're going to register.
Spike: Well, where would Angel like to register? And can we have the photographer Angel would've wanted? And, flowers Angel would have liked?
Buffy: Hey! You think I don't live with the shadow of Drusilla over my head? That I'm not wondering if you're going to be thinking of her on our honeymoon when you're making sweet love to me...?

Giles: That's alright. I have more scotch.

Buffy: My wedding! I'm getting married - can you believe it?
Riley: I don't think "no" is a strong enough word.

Buffy: I know! It's crazy! I mean, we fought for all these years, and then.. Sometimes you just look at someone, and you know.. You know?
Riley: No.
Buffy: I think maybe we fought because we couldn't admit how we really felt about each other.

Buffy: Spike!
Riley: That's a name?
Buffy: Don't be mad.
Riley: I'm not mad!

Buffy: You're ruining my happy day.

Xander: That's okay, mom - we don't need anymore snacks.
Anya: I liked those fruit roll-ups.
Xander: Shush, I thought she'd never clear out. Besides, just think of my lips as, the fruit roll-ups of love. Okay, that was gross.

Giles: So the plan is to cure my total, incapacitating blindness... tomorrow.

Buffy: Aren't they a perfect little us?
Spike: I don't like him. He's insipid. Clearly human.
Buffy: Ooh, red paint. We could smear a little on his mouth - blood of the innocent.
Spike: That's my girl.

Buffy: Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now, do you wanna be William the Bloody, or just Spike? 'Cause, either way, it's gonna look majorly weird.
Spike: Where as the name Buffy gives it that touch of classic elegance.
Buffy: What's wrong with Buffy?
Giles: Huh.. such a good question.

Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.

Buffy: Spike and I are getting married!
Xander: How? What? How?
Giles: Three excellent questions.

Xander: Can I be blind, too?

Xander: Something about Willow and her griefy-poor-me mood swings - so, so tired of it.
Anya: You mean I don't have to be nice about her anymore?

Buffy: She did a spell.
Giles: Yes... to have her will done. Whatever she says is coming true.
Buffy: And you both were effected. I probably only escaped because I'm the Slayer. Some kind of natural immunity.
Xander: Yeah. Right. You're marrying Spike because you're so right for each other.

Buffy: You want me to stop working?
Spike: Let's see - do I want you to give up killing all my friends? Yeah, I've given it some thought.

D'hoffren: You have much anger and pain. Your magic is strong, but your pain - it's like a scream that pierces dimensional walls. We heard your call.
Willow: I-I'm sorry. I'll try for a quiet rage. Bye.

Buffy: Spike lips! Lips of Spike!

Anya: How long are you going to keep making these?
Willow: Oh, until I don't feel so horribly guilty. I figure about a million chips from now. Also, I have to detail Giles' car.

Willow: Eat a cookie; ease my pain?

Spike: Don't I get a cookie?
Buffy: No.
Spike: Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth.
Buffy: You're a pig, Spike.
Spike: Yeah.. well I'm not the one who wanted, "Wind Beneath My Wings" for the first dance.

Buffy: No, it's just.. I saw that fear in your eyes when you caught me looking at wedding dresses, and I had to give you a hard time.
Riley: I did not have fear in my eyes.
Buffy: Yes you did. You were looking at me like I was a cartoon ball and chain.